First off, I want to say Congrats to Reddit user The_Dalek_Emperor (throwfarfarawayaz is a throwaway account) for causing a War of the Worlds’-like event that went viral. Here is the link to the original story: WTF is going on in Pinal county, Arizona?
If you are interested in the entire series of stories, here is a link to the compilation: The Sniffles
The story gained a ton of traction and one thing led to another and suddenly people were ACTUALLY calling police, businesses, and other people in Mammoth, Arizona to make sure there wasn’t an outbreak of some deadly disease.
Here are some links to actual news articles citing the story as a hoax:
Note: I used a Throwaway account MBAWarehouse to post my contribution to The Sniffles. The original author gave me permission to “piggyback” off their concept.
First off, I’m not feeling very well and if this is what I think it is, I don’t have much time left. My temperature’s been high all day and there was a weird rash on the back of my knee that hasn’t gone away. I’ve put anti-itch creams, ice, and everything else I could think of to stop it but nothing has worked. I keep scratching at it and hoping that it will finally stop. This is the absolute worst I’ve felt in my entire life. I’ve done nothing but swallow pill after pill trying to ward off whatever the heck it was that I caught from the sick weirdo in my communal laundry room yesterday.
I was unloading my laundry from the dryer when I heard the door open and out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk into the room slowly. This isn’t something that would normally be weird since a good part of my neighborhood utilizes the laundry facility. I kept unloading my laundry and noticed that someone was standing just outside of the corner of my vision. I took a quick glance over to him and we made eye contact. I quickly turned my head back to the clothing and hoped that I hallucinated what I’d seen.
Feeling his eyes still burning a hole through me, I turned to him and asked if I could help. That’s when I really took a good look at him. There was a brown crust on the side of his head that looked like dried blood. Chunks of his hair seemed to be missing as well, giving him the appearance of someone losing their hair from chemotherapy.
I asked the guy what was wrong and he didn’t answer right away. He lifted a purple, greenish bruised arm to his forehead and wiped off a river of sweat from his brow. It had to have been the dryers but I could have sworn I felt his heat radiating off his body from a few feet away. He asked if I was finished with the dryers. I told him to give me a minute and as fast as I could, I tossed the rest of my clothing into my laundry basket. He tried to smile at me revealing a row of teeth with bleeding gums.
I went past him almost speed walking back home. I locked the door behind me and tossed the basket full of clothes to the side. My girlfriend was on the couch and wondered why I looked so spooked. I told her what happened and by the end of it, I felt a little better about it. I brushed it off as someone being a little too socially awkward or maybe he’d just gotten back from a night of MMA.
After dinner, I saw down to watch some television and suddenly I didn’t feel right. I felt very hot and suddenly very nauseous. I ran to the bathroom and puked into the toilet. My girlfriend rushed behind me to make sure that I was okay. I didn’t feel good for the rest of the night and the following morning. My girlfriend started feeling terrible as well throughout the night. We kept waking each other up with the constant scratching.
I tried to get up this morning for work but I simply couldn’t get out of bed. Neither could my girlfriend. I called out and my boss seemed pretty pissed. He accused everyone of orchestrating some sort of strike because we were going to be open on Thanksgiving. I told him I was really sick and hung up the phone. I scratched behind my knee and felt a bump where the rash was. I can’t stop scratching it.
We’ve been in bed the entire day and we’re only feeling worse. After reading what’s been going on, I think this may be our last night together.